isolating oneself is so easy 
its way too easy 
shut down communication 
only leaving the house when needed 
friends become strangers 
no one knows what happened to you 
you’ve closed your curtain 
you’re drained of energy 
a little voice in your head 
denies you the right to reach out 
it tells you to stay quiet 
everything will pass
why would people wanna see you sad? 
wait until you’re happy 
then you can spread joy through your smile 
but sometimes that smiles takes longer than usual
when you re-emerge from your hiatus 
your smile on full display
theres no one left 
everyone thought you were smiling 
somewhere else 


your body lays against mine 
do i look at you? 
do i close my eyes?
i’m calm 
which is weird 
i’m an over thinker
but for once, time slows down 
as i feel you breathe 
i always relate moments to colors 
this is a lavender 
lavender bed sheets 
lavender walls 
lavender kisses 
lavender scented love