I believe in God

Growing up I never felt connected to the Bible. Maybe because I wanted to be special and different or maybe because it never felt right to me, but I do believe in something bigger than us. It could be a sort of god, and honestly when I’m down and have no one to turn to my catholic roots make me talk to “god”. I’m not ashamed of it though like how I used to be. I used to be ashamed of flip flopping and never having a concrete thought in my body. I’ve learned in my 23 years of living that being completely sure in yourself doesn’t exist. Because the past is no longer here, the future hasn’t happened or might not even happen and the present doesn’t stay long enough to be the present. So how could a life that’s not tangible or predictable be concrete? But one thing I do believe in is everything. I believe in the things people are too embarrassed to admit that they believe in. I believe in the universe, the evil eye, ghosts, mermaids, aliens, witchcraft, good and bad energy, passing an egg over your body while reciting “Hail Mary”, Mother Nature, karma,  and love. I believe in the things that are not written on paper and sold to billions of people, but handed down generation to generation by tongue, etchings, and simple actions. The stuff labeled as “barbaric” or “taboo”. The stuff you would never believe in because it seems too unrealistic. Meanwhile, you’re probably praying to a book that leads people to believe that we’re not one in the same and separates us instead of bringing us together. How unrealistic is that? For someone to think they’re better than another living thing because of the way they look or how they decide to live their life or who they pray to. Death is inevitable. You’re not immortal even if you do ascend to your “heaven”. And the only thing that keeps you in the physical world, the only world we’ve really seen and could prove, is the memory of you in other people. So how unrealistic is it to believe in something you can feel? Something that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck and appears in your dreams. Something that helps calm you and makes you incredibly happy. Is it really that unrealistic? Or are you just afraid? Be careful because hate stems from fear and look where that’s gotten us. More violence in a violent world. 

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