a bit of him

you see a bit of him in me
maybe thats why you hurt so much
whenever i pull away
“You act just like him”
words that leave a bitter taste
and you know it
maybe thats why you try so hard
try to change me for my own good
you cry when i don’t agree
raising your voice is how you solve problems
but you and i both know 
it doesn’t work
not on him or on me
my hands smell like cigarettes 
i've never smoked before
my lungs have been damaged
ever since the age of 14
“You drink too much”
do i really?
my mind loves to be numb
the world keeps spinning
it starts to slow down
along with my body
"You're never home"
i need to work
i feel useless and unimportant
whenever i'm not tired
"You don’t like him,
but you act just like him.
I’m scared for your own children"

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