a bit of him

you see a bit of him in me
maybe thats why you hurt so much
whenever i pull away
“You act just like him”
words that leave a bitter taste
and you know it
maybe thats why you try so hard
try to change me for my own good
you cry when i don’t agree
raising your voice is how you solve problems
but you and i both know 
it doesn’t work
not on him or on me
my hands smell like cigarettes 
i've never smoked before
my lungs have been damaged
ever since the age of 14
“You drink too much”
do i really?
my mind loves to be numb
the world keeps spinning
it starts to slow down
along with my body
"You're never home"
i need to work
i feel useless and unimportant
whenever i'm not tired
"You don’t like him,
but you act just like him.
I’m scared for your own children"

handle with care

one day i’ll find someone 
who’ll stay a while and watch me grow 
water me at times
move me into sunlight 
when it’s been a hard day 
who’ll pick my fruits when they’re ripe 
cut them up into small pieces 
help me enjoy the sweetness 
before it all rots 
one day someone will find me 
let me refill their watering can 
sing about my love for them 
about our love for each other 
soak in what the earth has given to us 
what the earth has gifted to us 
what the earth has blessed us with 
enjoy life together 
as two living things 
made from above

a lot of love

i’ve been feeling a lot of love lately 
so much love that i’m overwhelmed 
tears fall down my cheeks 
all because of a random woman on the A train
who smiled at me with such warmness
i felt my grandma’s hug
random messages are sent out
more messages come in 
the air is light for once
easy to breathe in 
easy to let go 
new flowers bloom 
trees start to look full again 
streets are filled with bikes 
kids screaming on basketball courts 
the sun is shining
our smiles reflect the golden light 
we blind ourselves with more love
too much love 
way too much love