Blue Light

Every second, every second I feel a vibration
A thrill swells up in my chest exhilarating my mind
A blue light shines on my face stimulating my pupils
And there I am staring at the soul of others on a screen
I see the past, the present, the future
Someone's picture of them as a child
Someone's Saturday blowing off steam with friends and a cold brew
A tingle runs through my veins as the sensation of being alone rushes into my body
Like a sudden wave of sadness crashing into my soft flesh
Why don't I have a bunch of friends?
Why isn't my night a whirl of memories I will laugh about the next day
But is it real?
Are these people really enjoying themselves?
Are they putting on a fake smile as a mask to hide the depression that they're sinking in?
It doesn't matter
Because the blue light still shines on my face
Because I still waste time scrolling down my feed
Because I still compare myself to others and their display of happiness
It doesn't matter if it's fake
I still crave it
I still want it
I still wake up every morning to peer into something that isn't really there
The blue light still shines on my face
And it blinds me from reality

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